The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration—and for many people, it is. Yet for many others, particularly those struggling with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), this time of year can bring unique challenges: Plans to spend time with loved ones, participate in traditions, and feel the “holiday spirit” can heighten expectations and pressure, and the stress of packed schedules can amplify symptoms.
If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone, and that OCD doesn’t have to define your holiday season. Let’s explore how OCD might show up during the holidays, why this time of year can feel especially tough, and what you can do to manage symptoms and reclaim moments of joy.
How OCD can make the holidays hard
Living with OCD can be challenging any time of year. It drains your energy, consumes your time, and can affect everything from daily tasks to how you see yourself. But during the holidays, these challenges often intensify.
These are some of the most common holiday-related struggles I’ve heard about during my career as an OCD-specialty therapist:
1. Symptoms latching onto holiday traditions
Holidays are often steeped in traditions, many of which involve loved ones and hold great personal value. This can make them prime targets for OCD. As a result, you might notice compulsions or intrusive thoughts around hosting, decorating, gift giving, or planning events.
OCD can turn these holiday activities into sources of stress, frustration, or even shame by attempting to convince you that you’re not measuring up to others’ expectations or the impossibly high standards it sets for you—even though this couldn’t be more untrue.
2. Unexpected triggers
The holidays tend to involve lots of unpredictable situations, and OCD often tries to use this uncertainty against us. You might find yourself worrying about the possibility of unexpected triggers at social gatherings, or whether you’ll be able to hide your compulsions from others.
The uncertainty can feel overwhelming, even scary, making it tempting to avoid any situation where we can’t predict the outcome or feel in control, but avoiding what matters to us only gives OCD more power. You can still embrace the joy of the holidays, even when things feel uncertain.
3. The weight of festive expectations
There can be a lot of pressure to be cheerful and “in the holiday spirit” this time of year. You might feel guilty for struggling to enjoy what’s “supposed” to be a happy occasion or frustrated that OCD is trying to distract you from moments you want to cherish.
The added stress of these expectations can worsen OCD symptoms, so it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to have a complicated relationship with the holidays—they don’t have to be “perfect” to be meaningful.
4. Feelings of loneliness
Living with OCD often means having thoughts that seem impossible to share. You might feel the need to keep your struggles hidden or avoid social interaction, worried that if people knew what was really going on in your mind, they’d judge you or pull away. Since the holidays involve social gatherings, the urge to self-isolate can be especially intense this time of year.
If you relate to this, remember that OCD is a master of lies. It might try to convince you that you’re protecting yourself by staying away from others, but in reality, isolation only strengthens its grip on your life. This shame and guilt isn’t yours to carry. You are not defined by thoughts you didn’t choose to have.
We can help you tackle your intrusive thoughts, no matter what they are
5. Stress and overwhelm
The holiday season often comes with extra obligations and when you’re managing OCD, this additional stress can feel like adding weight to an already heavy load. You might find yourself torn between wanting to participate to the fullest extent and fearing the possibility of your OCD symptoms flaring up under this stress.
The exhaustion of trying to appear “normal” or “festive” while fighting an internal battle with OCD is real, and it’s okay to acknowledge how difficult that can be. Your feelings are valid, and your struggles are deserving of care and support.
Tips for managing OCD this holiday season
If OCD is feeling particularly loud for you this time of year, here are a few strategies that can help you find support, manage symptoms, and focus on what matters most to you:
1. Be gentle with yourself
Try to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a friend in your situation. Many of us with OCD tend to be especially hard on ourselves, even though this harshness is completely undeserved—and often the polar opposite of how we would treat our loved ones.
For example, if a friend told you they were having disturbing thoughts that they didn’t want to have, how would you respond to them? I doubt you would criticize them or think they were a bad person. You would probably show them compassion. You deserve compassion, too.
2. Practice pushing back against OCD
OCD doesn’t want you to realize that you have power to refuse its demands and focus on what matters to you instead. Taking small steps to pursue your values—even if you’re feeling anxious or uncomfortable—can help you discover this power for yourself.
For example, when OCD tells you to hide away from social gatherings, consider doing the opposite. If it says you can’t be around certain objects or situations, gradually working to face them can help reduce its strength.
I will not lie and say this will be easy. It will take time, and you will need to do uncomfortable things, but each step you take to challenge OCD’s hold on your life can help build your confidence. Give yourself grace and remember to celebrate the small victories along the way.
3. Consider leaning on your support system
The people who care about you will often want to help—they just might not understand what you’re struggling with or what they can do to support you. While you’re never required to explain OCD to anyone or disclose anything you don’t want to share, if opening up to your loved ones is important to you, having a few trusted people be aware of your struggles can make the holidays feel more manageable, and there are tips that can help you start these conversations.
You may want to consider sharing evidence-based resources on OCD or providing specific ways that they can support you, like avoiding reassurance, encouraging you to push back against OCD, or listening without judgment when you need to talk.
4. Connect with people who understand
There is a whole community of people with OCD, many of whom have similar experiences to yours. Whether it’s through support groups, online communities, or in-person events, connecting with others who get what you’re going through can make a huge difference.
Many people who once struggled to leave their homes or felt controlled by OCD are now living full, meaningful lives thanks to proper treatment and support. Hearing their stories can remind you that even when OCD feels insurmountable, it’s possible to develop skills to manage it and find joy again.
5. Seek proper treatment
Evidence-based treatment for OCD—particularly exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, the most proven approach—has helped countless people learn to manage their symptoms and reclaim their lives. The same possibilities exist for you.
ERP therapy helps people understand that their intrusive thoughts don’t define them and that performing compulsions actually strengthens OCD. As they practice gradually exposing themselves to feared situations while learning to resist compulsions, OCD’s grip on their life loosens. Over time, they often discover they’re stronger than they thought and that anxiety, while uncomfortable, won’t last forever.
With NOCD, you can do virtual ERP therapy with licensed therapists specifically trained in OCD and ERP. Because of their extensive specialized training, NOCD Therapists deeply understand what you’re going through—even the symptoms that are hard to talk about—and know how to help.
They also accept many major insurance plans, including UnitedHealthcare, Aetna, Cigna, and more, making life-changing treatment more affordable and accessible.
If you’re in need of care, book a free 15-minute call with the NOCD Team to learn more about starting treatment that can help you manage OCD during the holiday season and beyond. NOCD is open over the holidays to help as many people as possible.