Sometimes, living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can feel like being trapped inside a prison. Your mind feels like it is in a constant state of torment and doubt, which can be especially painful as the holidays approach.
When you see people all around you smiling and laughing, seemingly oblivious to your suffering, it can feel like there is little to be grateful for. Feelings of hopelessness, dread, self-doubt, shame, and guilt course through your veins. Just hearing about festivities may make you cringe in discomfort. You may even be wondering, “What could someone living with this painful disorder possibly be thankful for?”
My answer? More than you might think. OCD has caused me a great deal of pain and taken me to some very dark places, but having come out the other side, I can recognize that even when I was at my absolute lowest point, there was still hope for me, and there were always reasons to be grateful. Here are a few:
I am not who OCD says I am.
You are not the sum of your thoughts. You are so much more. You are so many things to so many people. OCD cannot take that away from you. It can’t define who you are, or who I am. OCD is only a small part of me, even when it feels enormous and tries to overtake me.
My values are more important than anything OCD tells me.
“Values over fear” is my motto. Our values can be defined as anything that is important to us. What do we appreciate, what do we strive for, what do we want in life? These values are the very things that help guide us. OCD doesn’t get to guide us. It will not determine our steps, our beliefs, or our futures.
There is hope and there is treatment that can help me.
I know this because of the years of exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy I have provided to others who suffer from this condition. I know this from my own experience. I know this because I have seen my own children struggle with OCD and get better. You can learn skills and tools to ease the pain of OCD, to lessen its power in your life. All is never lost. I am so thankful for all of the therapy I have received. It’s truly been life-changing.
I can learn to live with uncertainty.
Of course, OCD will tell you that this is not true. It will fight you every step of the way on this one, inserting doubt into anything and everything that it possibly can. Yet, each time it does this and you refuse to give into its demands, you grow stronger. The doubt may still be there, but it doesn’t define you. It doesn’t hold power over you or your life. As you embrace all of the uncertainty around your thoughts and feelings, you learn that is all they are: thoughts and feelings. They don’t need your attention. They will pass.
I can choose my actions despite how I feel.
We don’t get to choose our struggles in life, but we do get to choose our actions and responses. We can choose to not listen when OCD tells us something bad will happen if we don’t do the ritual or the compulsion. It will feel risky, even downright irresponsible at times, but we still can choose.
We can accept that we have this condition that makes us feel that these things are important, and that the whole world depends on us and what we think and do. Now acceptance doesn’t mean that we give in or that we give up. When you have OCD, acceptance is freedom. I accept that I cannot control intrusive thoughts, images, and feelings, but I can be empowered through my response to them.
I can tolerate hard feelings.
Even when it feels like I can no longer go on, when things will never get better, I am reminded of the countless people I have worked with in therapy who have gotten better. They have been able to go on to live healthy and fulfilling lives in spite of OCD. They are overcomers. They are fighters. They remind me that I am, too.
Life will not always feel as hard as it does in these moments.
We are constantly changing. Our lives, the situations we’re in, and the emotions we feel are always in flux. How I feel today doesn’t determine how I will feel in the future.
I am becoming stronger every single day.
There can be times when OCD makes us feel “weak,” or somehow not mentally strong, especially if we’re comparing ourselves to others: “Why does this affect me when it doesn’t affect them at all? Why can’t I just move on and not feel anxious?” My response to this is, have you ever heard the old saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy”? How true this rings when you have OCD.
So this Thanksgiving season, I am grateful for all that I have been through and what it has taught me. All of the hard stuff, all of the painful symptoms, all of the obstacles I’ve faced—because despite these things, here I am, living a pretty wonderful life, even with OCD. I know it’s possible for you, too.
Please reach out for help from a specialty-trained therapist if you’re struggling. There is hope and support in treatment, and OCD doesn’t have to hold power over you forever. At NOCD, our licensed therapists deeply understand OCD and are specialty-trained in treating OCD with ERP therapy, the most effective treatment. They’ll work with you to create a treatment plan personalized to your unique needs and help you regain your life from OCD. Book a free 15-minute call with our team to learn more.