reasonable—and extremely common—to feel heightened anxiety or worry about spending money, and it often has nothing to do with how much money we have in the bank.
While it’s normal to be afraid of spending money, the fear can become all-consuming for some, taking up a ton of head space and interfering with one’s pleasure in life and their personal relationships.
Whether you have a low-grade fear of spending money or a more serious one, let’s explore what’s at the root of your fear, and how to overcome it.
Why am I so afraid of spending money?
Finances are a common stressor among most people across the world. While money isn’t listed among humans’ basic needs—food, water, clothing, sleep, and shelter—you do need it to acquire these necessities in most societies. The fact that it’s so essential to both surviving and thriving can feel overwhelming for many people, even if they’re in good financial standing. Plus, the idea of running out of money can be particularly nerve-wracking if you’ve experienced some sort of past financial trauma, like:
- Growing up in poverty
- Major financial losses
- Getting fired or laid off
- Financial discrimination
- Unmanageable debt build-up
- Filing bankruptcy
- History of compulsive spending
Others may get anxious not because of their own past, but as a result of witnessing hardships affect other people. After hearing stories “about people who lost their money, or the stock market crashes, or recessions, they want to be able to continue to live the lifestyle they live,” says Dr. Patrick McGrath, PhD and Chief Clinical Officer at NOCD.
Given so many facets of life that seem out of your control, your wallet may feel like one thing that you do have “control” over. As a result, you might not want to risk spending your hard-earned cash so that you can be prepared for any “what ifs.”
You think ‘I wasn’t prepared for what happened to me financially back then, but I’ll always be prepared now’
Dr. Patrick McGrath
It’s true that there’s always something that could come up and disrupt our financial standing, like an unexpected medical operation or a rent increase. But to be clear: Fear of spending money isn’t just about things that require a significant financial commitment. For some people, even spending money on an organic banana can be anxiety-inducing, causing someone to pause and reconsider before making a purchase.
It is important to emphasize that many money-related concerns are sometimes well-justified. In the U.S., approximately half of the country’s tenants are struggling to afford rent. But when there’s no evidence that you need to stress over purchases, yet money is still consuming your every thought, it may signal a mental health condition.
What is chrometophobia?
Since most people have some level of money worries, it’s important to distinguish what irrational fear looks like. Chrometophobia is a specific phobia where there is a marked fear or anxiety about spending money that affects your daily functioning. Chrometophobia causes you to get anxious or panic when you think about spending. You might completely avoid making purchases altogether to steer clear of any distress.
Chrometophobia looks different on case-by-case bias, but it may show up in the following ways:
- Being afraid to touch money
- Needing reassurance when counting cash
- Avoidance of managing your own money
- Fears around discussing (or thinking about) finances
- Denying yourself necessities even when you can afford them
- Ignoring needed maintenance, repairs, and upgrades of your belongings
- Isolation due to skipping social events (because of cost)
- Difficulty handling bills or taxes
- Refusing to spend money for pleasure (i.e. vacations, treating yourself, etc.)
The DSM-5 requires the following criteria to make a diagnosis for any specific phobia:
- Your fear is excessive or out of proportion
- Your fear leads to intense distress, anxiety, or panic
- Your fear of spending (or avoidance of spending) significantly interferes with your life
- You’ve had the fear for at least six months
- Your fear is not a result of another mental disorder
What does a fear of spending money have to do with OCD?
Fears about spending money may also be seen in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD is a chronic condition that manifests in different ways for everyone—in other words, it’s not just a preoccupation with tidiness and cleanliness that you often see depicted in the media. A person with OCD focused on a fear of spending money will have unwanted intrusive thoughts, urges, or worries about spending money and any outcomes they may associate with it. These are considered “obsessions” and they can cause great distress. As a result, people with OCD will feel the need to engage in compulsions (repetitive behaviors or mental acts) to eliminate their anxiety around spending money or prevent financial stress in general.
Common triggers related to a fear of spending
People with OCD focused on a fear of spending money may be triggered by any situations involving money or finances. They may go to great lengths to avoid these triggers, which include:
- Looking at their bank account online
- Receiving bills in the mail
- Holidays commonly associated with gift-giving traditions
- Loss of work
- Workplace stress
- Medical concerns
- Seeing other people who are financially struggling
- Hearing, reading, or seeing stories about economic struggles
- Intrusive thoughts about being a bad person if money is spent on something they deem “unnecessary”
- Fear of theft
Common obsessions related to a fear of spending
Triggers lead to obsessions, which often take the form of “what if” scenarios in a person’s mind. Here are some examples:
- “What if I run out of money?”
- “If I buy this, I won’t have enough money for something I need later”
- “I should not spend money on food when people are starving”
- “I can’t buy clothes, because homeless people don’t have clothes to keep them warm”
- “Someone could hack into my account and steal my money”
- “I may lose my job and not have money”
- “I don’t have enough money in my savings account”
- “What if I get sick and rack up hospital bills?”
Common compulsions related to a fear of spending
The next stage of the OCD cycle is engaging in compulsions for relief from fear or anxiety, or to prevent a feared outcome. Compulsions are often excessive and can often become rigid and ritualistic. Here are some examples:
- Compulsively avoiding spending money on fun, leisure, or vacations
- Money hoarding
- Restricting usage of utilities, e.g. not using lights when needed, or taking fewer showers
- Restricting diet to reduce grocery bills
- Avoiding opening bills
- Frequently re-checking to be sure that finances or bills are correct (i.e. calling your phone company multiple times)
- Counting money/cash repetitively
- Checking your bank account over and over
- Restricting spending on necessities
- Avoiding looking at bank accounts
Different subtypes of OCD may influence how obsessions and compulsions manifest. For example, a person who struggles with responsibility ocd feels a heightened responsibility for others. They may be persistently worried that they’re not being careful enough with their family’s funds and constantly feel as if their purchases are irresponsible. Whereas someone dealing with scrupulosity OCD, which is marked by religious, moral, and/or ethical obsessions, may have excessive worries that they are a bad person because they’re spending their money while others don’t have any.
How to tell if you’re struggling with spending-related OCD
To get a better sense of whether you’re dealing with OCD, you can ask yourself some questions that relate to the diagnostic criteria for OCD:
- Are you experiencing repeated, unwanted, intrusive thoughts, fears, or urges about spending money?
- How persistent are the thoughts and fears around the topic of fear of spending money? Are the thoughts about this fear distressing or disturbing?
- Are you trying to ignore the thoughts? Do you try to push the thoughts away?
- Do you perform behaviors, mentally or physically, to reduce those thoughts or fears or prevent your fear from happening, such as seeking reassurance, avoidance, checking, or counting?
- Do these thoughts and behaviors take up a significant amount of time?
- Does this worry or behavior interfere with or impair other important areas of your life?
If the answer to some or all of these questions is yes, you may benefit from an assessment with a trained OCD specialist. They can confirm whether you are experiencing OCD and if you need evidence-based treatment.
How OCPD affects spending habits
The excessive frugality seen in obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is quite different from how money fears show up in OCD. OCPD is a personality disorder that has nothing to do with obsessions or compulsions. Instead, those with OCPD have an extreme preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and control. “In OCPD, money is something to be hoarded for future bad events or ‘what if’ kinds of things. So, ‘don’t spend it now’—wait for the calamity to occur and be ready to spend it then,” Dr. McGrath explains. Someone with OCPD may insist upon extremely frugal spending habits for themselves and others.
One key distinction between OCD and OCPD is how one views their symptoms. With OCD, obsessions and compulsions are extremely distressing and feel out of one’s control; they don’t like their ways of being. Someone with OCPD, on the other hand, likes the fact they must control everything. They may even think that everyone else should be following their methods because they are the “correct” ways. To merit an OCPD diagnosis, you must exhibit at least four of the following symptoms described in the DSM-5:
- Rigidity and stubbornness
- A fixation on details, rules, schedules, organization, and lists
- A need for perfectionism that interferes with completion of tasks
- Excessive devotion to work and productivity not caused by financial necessity
- Excessive conscientiousness, fastidiousness, and inflexibility regarding ethics, morals, and values
- Inability to toss worn-out or worthless items, even those with no sentimental value
- Unwillingness to delegate tasks or work with others unless things are done in their specific way
- Hoarding money because you view money as something to be saved for emergencies
How to overcome fear of spending money
A fear of spending money can be debilitating and you may need guidance from a healthcare professional to manage it. If you’re unsure if the fear is related to chrometophobia, OCD, or OCPD, the good news is that all three utilize the same treatment called exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy.
Here’s how it works: a specially trained therapist helps you build a hierarchy of your fears, addressing one trigger at a time. Your therapist will plan out exercises where you expose yourself to what you’re afraid of. You start with easy exposures and work up to harder ones as confidence is built. For example, Dr. McGrath has worked with NOCD therapy members who are afraid of making purchases in public because they could make a mistake counting out their cash and embarrass themself in front of the cashier. “In those situations, I have people go in and pay with the wrong amount of money every time they go to pay,” Dr. McGrath says. “Just to learn that they can handle it. It isn’t about trying to convince them that they could do it right—it’s about showing them that they can handle doing it wrong.”
Other examples of possible exposures to treat spending-related OCD may include:
- Paying bills on time, rather than delaying or paying ahead of time (if you tend to put off payments or pay in advance)
- Only checking bank accounts every other day (if you otherwise check them daily)
- Donating money to a homeless person or another worthy cause (if you fear any charitable giving)
- Spending money on something frivolous or fun
- Setting up automatic payment for bills
- Taking an unpaid day off from work
Over time, you will develop more tolerance for anxiety and discomfort after repeatedly exposing yourself to your triggers. Eventually, practicing all these exposures will help you gain a healthier relationship with your finances and stop living in fear.
Bottom line
Whether we like it or not, we have to deal with money nearly every day and it has a huge influence on our livelihoods. When excessive worries around finances show up, it can seriously affect how we live our lives. If you’re dealing with an intense fear around spending money, know that there is highly effective treatment out there. With the proper help, you’ll soon be able to open your wallet or check your bank account without overwhelming doubts ruining your day.